December 16th


I keep having this dream. I’m sitting alone in the middle of my living room floor cross legged and listening to Van Morrison and scratching Galadriel behind the ears when suddenly the music stops; I look around, wondering where the music has gone, but as I stand up, bright lights shine out of my window, with all the force the sun can possibly have, blinding me momentarily. I hear a shuffle and a click and the couch side table’s drawer flies open and my cards shoot out like missiles, surrounding me and enveloping me. I blink and the floor beneath me is gone and I’m just falling down, down, down, way down, to the center of the earth and back perhaps, into the unknowable void, my cards surrounding me again and again and again and again…

Ten of Swords…complete and utter destruction, death, death, death, DEATH…

I’m blinded by the dark and the only thing I can hear is Rocio Durcal singing Amor Eterno, and then I watch Mother, smiling brightly at me through the dark void, swaying to the song and singing with tears down her face and then everything is black; I am blind again.

And I hear the sounds of chains, thick, horrendous chains whipping out and being Continue reading December 16th


December 1st – Part II


Salt to ward off enemies and unclean thoughts. It’s a binding, earthly element, one of the few compounds that cleanse without needing to burn. A white tea candle for purification and peace. Abuelita once told me that other candles probably can be used, but the ones at the restaurant are white and they usually go on tables, so improvisation is key. And, if Aleah looked hard enough, cornmeal, thinly lining the doorway, an offering to the petty resident god whose protection I invoke, though of course nobody looks down at their feet when they enter a door. That’s just not how people operate. I know. I’ve spent my whole life studying them.

But how many times do people cast a blind eye to a salt shaker and a lit candle? Many, if that’s a surprise, though for me it isn’t. People have the unique ability to see only what they want to see. We turn the other way when we get tired of trying to figure out a puzzle that doesn’t agree with us. Nobody asks why apartment numbers skip around, or why there is never a thirteenth floor, or what that bump in the dark of the night was. They just roll over and fall back asleep.

I was still thinking of Aleah while closing up. Jared heaved the barrel back into the Continue reading December 1st – Part II